On Trans Joy: An Interview with Christian, Drag King ‘Will Ryder’
How do you identify?
I’m an out and proud Queer Trans-Man.
How has your relationship to your Trans identity grown or changed over time?
It’s definitely been an evolution. Growing up I didn’t have the language to identify as a Trans man, but I always knew that I was different from the other “girls.” As a young adult (17-21) I still didn’t fall into the norms society places on men/women. So, after meeting my first out and proud gay lesbian, I set out on a quest to figure out my sexuality in my mid-twenties and I identified as a Butch lesbian woman, which would later prove to be the first step in my journey. The next step was learning that gender identity and sexuality are two different things, which finally gave me the language and tools to begin the process.
During this decade of self discovery I embraced Queer Culture and History, I wanted to know my roots far beyond the colors on my peoples flag. The more I connected with our past the more I fell in love with myself and realized I felt most at home when I was on the stage as a Drag King and occupying cis-gendered male spaces. I had heard the term “Trans” various times but it never connected, until it finally did. By this point I was in my early 30’s in the middle of a pandemic and my deceased mothers question constantly rolled through my head “are you a boy or a girl?” One night I finally had the courage to answer it. I’m a boy. No. I’m a man, a Queer Trans-Man. In that moment 8yr old me caught a glimpse of the man she secretly hoped to see in the mirror all those years ago and grown me cried because I knew it was that little girls experiences who would mold me into the man I wanted to be.
Now, we happily coexist and together celebrate struggles and triumphs and embrace the power and sense of duty that comes with being a Out and Proud Queer Trans Man. While the following statement may be triggering to some, it rings true to me because I chose to celebrate and fully embrace myself to the fullest. I do not have a dead name, no part of me died, I simply evolved and It’s true what they say, behind a successful man is a strong woman. It was her tenacity that kept me moving forward so I could become the man I was always meant to be.
Tell us about Will Ryder. Do you find that your gender identity feels different onstage than offstage?
Prior to my transition, yes. Now that I’ve transitioned, not at all. I identify as a trans-man and make it a point to always perform as a trans-masc king. I love a glitter king but I choose to perform as a Trans-masculine King to raise awareness to the trans community and emphasize that masculinity doesn’t have to be grouped with toxic behavior.
When you hear the phrase "Trans joy", what does that mean or feel like to you?
Trans Joy to me is symbolic of a revolution! As hard and terrifying as the world can be towards LGBTQ persons it shows our resilience and determination to find joy when the media and family try to break our spirits. Trans joy is an opportunity for us to share our light with others to help propel us out of the dark we’re in. This of course is not to be confused with naive optimism as there is still much work to be done.
Have you ever gone through periods or situations in your life when you felt like joy was impossible or something you couldn't have?
Absolutely! If I’m being honest, those periods still exist from time to time but that’s the beauty of being human right? The ability to experience an array of emotions, process them and find a way to heal and grow. To anyone who’s going through those periods please know your not alone. It does get better and there are people who genuinely care for you and are happy to be there for you. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help, further more if you ever feel unsafe or unseen and you see me in the community do not hesitate to talk to me. I know those feelings all too well and my mission is to be that safe space for our community.
Do you have any words for other Trans people, Nonbinary people, or folks wondering if they are, and are feeling like joy isn't something they can feel, or access, or deserve?
Trust your intuition, if you’re questioning it you most likely you already know the answer. Dare to close your eyes and envision your most beautiful and mesmerizing self. If the barriers that hold you back didn’t exist what would you look like? Take a mental picture of your most authentic self and proceed to recreate it because you deserve to be that person. You are worthy of joy, abundance of love and a life in which you feel safe and valid. While similar in many aspects each of our journeys is unique. Do not allow anyone to take control of your story. Transitioning or identifying as non-binary can look like many things, do your research and do what feels right to you. Do not compare your journey and progress to someone else’s, this is your story, your body, your choice and it should be done on your terms.